Five years ago I wrote an article about winning. It was about the winning mindset and how the group of kids I had at the time, and for the previous few years, sometimes had it and sometimes didn't. I also wrote that that particular group was a bunch of nice kids, too nice at times on the basketball court. Those kids were 7th graders at the time. I remember having one or two hyper-competitive players on my summer team who would do anything and everything to win. They were all nice kids. The rest of them, well, sometimes they got after it and sometimes they didn't. I also stated that sometimes they cared about winning and losing, and sometimes they didn't. Someone pointed out at the time that I was blaming my win/loss record, or lack of success on the kids or the parents, who had raised their kids right and taught them to be nice off the court. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I have never cared about my record, success, or lack thereof.
Flash forward to 2016. I am now coaching another son and a crop of 7th graders who have just finished or will be finishing their 7th grade school years very soon. Some of them have played with each other on school teams. But they have never all played together as a team. What is interesting is that things really haven't changed much. I will say that this group cares a little more about winning, and they take losing a little harder. This group is a little more scrappy, a little more aggressive, a little dirtier. They want to win. I believe it's because most of them have older brothers, sisters or both. They have brothers who play sports in high school, or brothers that played in high school and have gone on to play in college. Sisters who similarly play in high school or did, and have gone on to play in college. Some of the siblings were multi-sport athletes. Some specialized. But this group seemingly has been through those knock-down, drag-out fights in the driveway, or the back yard or the living room or the neighborhood with those siblings. It shows. Don't get me wrong. They are great kids. They are well-behaved, even nice. But these kids have a bit of an edge to them. Some of them are a little hard, "dirty" even. But off the court, they're nice. Polite. Some of the best kids you'll ever meet. And good basketball players, some from small schools, some from bigger ones.
Back to my record and success or lack thereof. I have never cared about my record. I love to win and I hate to lose. I try to instill that in the kids that play for me. When I was young, I wanted to win at all costs. Everyone I knew wanted to win at all costs. If all I cared about now was winning, I would go out and recruit, no I would battle, and get the best player from every team in the area. But I don't. I have always preferred local kids, kids from small schools, farm schools, kids that by the time they get to high school have developed, with my help I like to think, the will to go out and compete with the kids from the big schools and the kids with the most talent. Kids with integrity and character. Not that the kids from big schools, or the ultra talented don't have those things. I like kids I can develop. I try to teach my kids that while winning isn't everything, it sure is fun. I also don't shy away from teaching them that they have to learn how to take losing their own way. I hated losing. Took it pretty hard. Until I got older and wiser. What I learned is losing should bother you a little bit. Whether it was a game you should have won, or a game you had little chance of winning. You shouldn't dwell on it and let it consume you, but it should eat at you a little. Drive you to do more work, to improve your skill set, your mindset and to get a little better. But what I really care about is teaching kids the game. I care about teaching basketball skills and situations. I care about developing skills and mindsets. I care about teaching kids life skills that will benefit them later when they are in high school or have graduated and moved on to college or the workforce. I care about teaching them to pay attention to detail, to do things correctly and to do things the way they've been taught. After all, I have played the game since I was a kid, in high school and in college. I have been studying the game and coaching it for a long time. I know a little. I care that each and every one of the kids that plays for me improves his game, his knowledge of the game or his intensity or competitive nature while playing for me. To me that is success. And, based on that, I have been very successful. I have compiled a long list of kids that have played for me over the years who have gone on to play basketball or other sports in college, perhaps the subject of a separate blog. But I like to think I have had a little bit to do with that. I also care about developing relationships. Relationships with the kids, with the parents, with other coaches. Relationships developed by the kids, who may be rivals or enemies during the school year, but get to know each other and become friends while playing together in the summer, spending time together at practice and in hotels and swimming pools and breaking bread together or taking trips to Smoothie King between games at tournaments. I treasure the relationships I have developed with kids who have graduated from high school, gone on to college and still call me "coach." Some of them may have only played for me for one summer or in a Fall league before their season started. Some for several years. But they still call me "coach." That is what is important to me. It is still about winning. We all want to win. Especially these young kids who have battled those older brothers and sisters, who may have learned how important winning is when they got to high school and passed it on to these young kids in the driveway. Those older kids also learned how important their teammates were, how important those relationships were. They learned that while they may compete and be rivals or enemies on the court, and although they definitely wanted to win when they all played against each other, they learned that it is more important to maintain those relationships and that they can be friends, in some cases for life, off the court. I remember when the class of 2015 graduated. So many of the kids that played with and against each other attended each other's open houses, hung out together, and maintained those relationships. They still talk and exchange stories. I see these young kids now, including my own son, doing the exact same thing, with maybe a few more trips to Smoothie King. They are developing relationships, friendships that will last in some cases for a lifetime. They are swimming in pools, running the halls of the hotels, hanging out in the workout rooms or eating dinner together. They're nice kids. They're good basketball players. They're competitive. They want to win. It is still about winning, but it is about oh so much more.
No comments:
Post a Comment